Step right up to the platform, ladies and gentlemen.
You will see the greatest show on the midway for only 50 cents.
These little ladies are entertaining you now, but in just a moment...
...Little Egypt will turn on her stuff.
She has danced before all the crown heads of Europe.
She makes blue blood turn into red.
Ladies and gentlemen, step right up...
...and buy your tickets for Sandow, the strongest man in the world.
He juggles pianos. He plays marbles with cannonballs.
He lifts 10 times his own weight with one arm.
He can even raise his own salary.
Now, folks, step right this way.
You are looking at the sensation of the fair, the eighth Wonder of the World.
Ladies and gentlemen, this way. This way.
This little lady has wiggled herself...
...from the desert to the shores of Lake Michigan.
And she's about to give you an exhibition absolutely free.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is not the dance that Little Egypt does inside...
...but to prove our generosity, we're going to give a demonstration...
...of that famous dance, the hootchy-kootch. Egypt, wiggle.
That's sufficient. Now, ladies and gentlemen--
He's a masterpiece of manhood.
Step up to the box office and buy your tickets. The show's about to begin.
--phenomenon. Ladies and gentlemen, this--
Well, how's business, Ziggy?
And now, ladies and gentlemen, Sandow concludes this performance...
...by lifting, with Herculean strength, the largest dumbbell in the world.
An unusual feat, ladies and gentlemen...
...for inside this huge dumbbell, there are other dumbbells.
Ladies and gentlemen, look.
There you are. Aren't they beautiful? Aren't they glorious?
A total weight of 750 pounds.
Isn't it wonderful? Isn't it marvelous? Let's give him a big hand.
What made you bring me to a show of this kind?
Well, you wouldn't let me see Little Egypt.
I'll bet a heifer against a mare the weights ain't on the level.
Seven hundred and fifty pounds, my foot.
-I wonder what her total weight is. Oh, Bill? -Yes, sir.
-Open the curtains, will you? -Open up those curtains.
Hey, Bill, you know, it seems to me that this platform--
Oh, hello, baby. Want some candy, Jane, huh?
Bill, we ought to have this platform built higher.
There ought to be more steps. The people in the back row can hardly see.
But, Mr. Ziegfeld, there's never anybody in the back rows.
Well, nevertheless, I want this higher. There ought to be a lot more steps.
Okay, Mr. Ziegfeld.
I'm sorry I lost my temper, Florenz...
...but I am awful disappointed.
I hope you never get downright disgusted.
What is wrong? Why don't they come in?
You're the attraction, and you're asking me?
Maybe you would like to cancel my contract.
Oh, no, Sandow. When I make a deal, it's a deal.
I like that. I like you.
Well, I like you too.
If you want to pay me some of my back salary, I take you to dinner, yeah?
Well, I'm not very hungry.
You're not worrying about your money, are you?
-You don't think I'd ever walk out on you? -No, no.
Nobody do that to Sandow.
-Maybe I better take you to dinner. -That's fine.
Hands up, mister, and give me all your money.
Well, I can't give you anything with my hands up, sweetheart.
All right, fresh, 23 skidoo for you. I'll help myself.
Oh, no. Oh, I see you got my little surprise.
This morning. Gee, ain't it swell?
-Were you really surprised? -Well, wouldn't you be?
-Yes. -If you expected a diamond ring.
Oh, don't be-- Tell you what we'll do.
-We'll go to the Little Vienna Restaurant. -Oh, I'd like that.
-Telegram, Mr. Billings. -Oh, thank you.
Just wait a minute. There might be an answer. Let me see.
-Oh, well, I'll be. -Bad news?
No, it's from Ziegfeld. He's across the midway.
He can touch me, but he has to send wires.
Listen, "ln Little Egypt, you have the best female attraction of the fair.
In Sandow, I have the greatest male attraction.
Why not fake a romance? The people will eat it up.
Then we can show them together, and I'd be willing to split 50-50."
-Well, that sounds like a great idea. -Oh, yes, great.
I'm selling out every performance, he's going to be thrown out...
...and he's willing to split 50-50. Give me your pencil.
I'll answer this one.
-Jack? -Yes.
-Is Ziegfeld a good friend of yours? -Oh, yes, we've been pals for years.
-But you wouldn't like him. -No?
No, he's up one day and broke the next. If he got $ 1 0,000 tomorrow...
...he'd spend it on the girl he liked tomorrow night.
Wouldn't want to waste your time meeting a fellow like that.
-Not if I met him on the right night. -On the right--? Oh, don't you--
-Shut up! And just send that collect. -Yes, sir, and I'll deliver it too, sir.
Because every time I take Mr. Ziegfeld a message, he gives me 50 cents.
-Oh, he does, does he? -Sure.
Yes, well, that's probably why he's always broke. Come on, dear.
This cheese is so strong it could walk over and say hello to your coffee.
Well, it had better not. This coffee's too weak to answer it.
Florenz, you're wonderful.
You make jokes even when you're so worried you can't touch your cold cuts.
I got no appetite neither.
No?
Message for you, Mr. Ziegfeld.
-They told me I'd find you here. -From Billings.
So soon he answers? He must be crazy about your proposition.
-Yeah. -Read it to me, Flo. Read it.
"Dear Ziggy, your proposition interests me." What did I tell you?
"But why fake a romance between Sandow and Little Egypt?
Let's make Sandow marry Little Egypt, and I'll split the children with you 50-50."
That message was collect.
-Fifty cents. -Have you change for a dollar?
-Sure, but you always.... -Keep it.
Gee, thanks.
Florenz, I love you. I will break chains for you...
...I will lift buildings for you, but I will not have children for you.
But if I have children, I will not split them.
-Oh, hello, Ziggy, I got your wire. -I just got yours too.
Patterson tells me he's putting you out Saturday.
-He tells me too. -How do you do, Mr. Ziegfeld?
How do you--?
-How do you do, Miss...? -Yes, Blair, this is Mr. Ziegfeld.
-I'm very happy to know you, Miss Blair. -I'm so happy to meet you, Mr. Ziegfeld.
And this is Mr. Sandow, the strongest man in the--
The strongest man in the world.
Jack tells me the loveliest things about you.
Oh, yes, I imagine.
-I could tell you lovely things about you. -He's only just met you...
...and he's going to tell you all about yourself.
-Won't you sit down? -Thank you.
-Oh, but no, we've got-- There's a table-- -I've seen you many times...
...on the midway.
-Fibber. I bet you never even noticed me. -Yes, I have.
Yesterday, you were wearing a red dress trimmed in black lace.
-Yes. -And a yellow hat, and it was atrocious.
-Oh, indeed? -Each was all right in itself, mind you...
...but the combination....
And last Sunday, you were wearing a blue gown and an orchid hat.
-Well, yes. -And you were wrong again.
Well, aren't we the observer?
Do you always check the right combinations for women?
-Always for beautiful women. -Oh, well, that's nice. Thank you.
-How do I look today? -Well, I don't like your hat.
-It shades your eyes, and I like your eyes. -Thank you.
He ought to be packing his own clothes instead of selecting yours.
-Come on, Ruth, we've got to go. -Yes. Well, goodbye, then.
-I'll be seeing you around the grounds. -Yes. Well, not after Saturday, you won't.
-That fella Billings makes me mad. -Yes?
Even that music from his Little Egypt drives me crazy.
You won't have to listen to it much longer. Wait a minute.
Come away. For five weeks you've been touching that elephant for luck...
...and now in five days, we get put out.
I know it's superstition, but an old Hindu told me...
...that if you touch an elephant's trunk, and he raises it, everything will be all right.
Wait, wait. We know we got hard luck without that elephant should tell us.
Say, I know what's wrong. You should touch him. You're the attraction.
-Me? -Sure. Go on, go ahead.
It sounds silly, but all right, I'll do it.
Look, Florenz, would he do that for me? The Great Sandow.
Sandow.
So that's what you call good luck, yeah?
Look, Sandow, you've got to expect a little rain with the sunshine.
That was very embarrassing, Florenz, very embarrassing.
Don't get your dander up. Who knows?
Maybe that little shower will bring us oodles of luck.
Well, I hope it brings us so much business like that Little Egypt.
Look at those peoples, how they crowd in to see that woman make wiggles...
...when yet they wouldn't come to see me lift weights no other man in the world can.
Sandow, I'm afraid your trouble is you developed the wrong muscles.
What you say? Every muscle in Sandow's body is developed...
...even the toes, like that.
With one arm I make a better dance than that Little Egypt with the whole body.
Look, boss.
Good heavens!
-Are you Mr. Sandow, the strongman? -Yes, madam, this is the Great Sandow.
Oh, look at those huge shoulders. Aren't they marvelous?
-Yes, dear, come on. -And that big chest.
-I never saw a chest like that before. -Oh, come on.
And his waistline, oh, it's simply magnificent.
-Precious, come on. -Just a minute, dear.
Mr. Sandow, I think your muscles are simply astounding.
Perhaps madam would like to feel the muscles of Sandow.
-Oh, I'd love to. -Sandow, your arm.
-Florenz, is she dead? -No, she's only fainted.
-But, oh, what an idea. Come on! -What? Wait a minute. What's wrong?
-Where are you going? -The papers. To the newspapers.
I'll fill them so full, women will fight to see you.
Not to watch you lift weights, but simply to feel your muscles.
Why, you've got more sex appeal in your one arm...
...than Little Egypt has in her whole--
Sandow, the modern Hercules. The miracle of strength.
Watch his muscles quiver in musical rhythm. Sandow, quiver.
Sufficient.
And now, ladies, if you want to see more of the Great Sandow...
...if your hearts are strong enough to stand the thrill...
...step up and buy your ticket. The show starts in five minutes.
-Folks, this is the show-- -How's business, Jack?
All right?
-Doesn't it sparkle? -Yes, doesn't it?
-You like it? -I certainly do.
I'm glad.
-Dr. Ziegfeld. -Yeah?
Can't I play my piece for you now? I get awful tired of this....
I don't blame you, Mary Lou. So do I.
Go ahead, then. Go on, play your little piece now.
-Dr. Ziegfeld? -Yes, dear.
-Do you know I was mad at your son? -What?
Mad at your best fella? Oh, but why?
Because he left us for that old World's Fair.
Oh, well, darling, you know the fair closed yesterday.
And is he coming back here again?
Well, I hope so.
Go on. You go on with your lesson.
-Dr. Ziegfeld. -Yes, dear.
Did you know I was going to marry your son?
Well, well, this is so sudden.
-Are you? -Oh, yes. We got that settled months ago.
Oh, yes, Father, didn't you know Mary Lou and I are engaged?
Well, don't I get a kiss today?
Not even a smile?
Well, Father, what do you think of that? My future wife won't even kiss me...
-...and I brought her a present too. -What?
-Kiss first. -No, present first.
No, kiss first. I'll tell you what. We'll both give at the same time. How's that?
I'll count three. Ready? One.
-Two. -Same time, remember.
Three.
Thank you so much. Dr. Ziegfeld, isn't it lovely?
-Beautiful. -I'm going to open it right now.
-Right now. Yes. -Oh, well, well, well.
Well, Florenz, what have you decided to do?
Well, I'm going to New York tomorrow, Dad.
With that Sandow, that strongman?
Father, I don't really belong here. No, I don't like it.
You don't like it, huh? The greatest music conservatory in the country.
I built it all myself. Students from all over the world are coming here...
...and you-- You don't like it.
You realize that maybe somewhere in one of these rooms...
...we find a future Beethoven or Liszt?
And you, my own son, all you want is a circus.
A circus with a fellow that can throw cannonballs.
Well, now, Dad, don't be upset.
-Sandow is a means to an end. -Yeah, to your end.
When you was a little fellow, since then, I've educated you in music and art.
From your mother, you got the refinement, taste, culture.
What good has it all done? What has it done you?
What are you now anyhow? A muscle manager. A beef exhibitor.
Then you got to go on the outside, and you gotta be....
You gotta act like a dog outside. You act like a dog.
Wait a minute, what do you mean, a dog?
You know what I mean. I don't mean you're a dog, I mean you got--
You gotta go outside and be a barker. That's a dog, ain't it?
Now let me tell you something. If you go away from here...
...I'll never speak to you again as long as I live.
-Oh, Dad, you don't mean that. -Yes, I do mean it.
And I mean-- I mean every word of it.
Hey, wait a minute here.
Now, you just stop that crying.
Now, you tell your fellow why you're crying.
If you're my fellow, why are you going away?
What--?
Now look here, you sit right up here, and I'll tell you all about it.
Now, I'll be honest with you.
-I'm not really your fellow. -You mean you don't like me anymore?
I not only like you, I love you.
But you know, I'm the funniest kind of a fellow. I love all the girls.
How can you do that? Do they let you?
Well, you didn't quite understand what I mean, darling.
Look....
Some people like beautiful paintings.
-Like that one? -Like that one.
Some people love beautiful flowers.
-Like those? -Like those.
Now, I love beautiful little girls like this one.
-You know what I'm going to do someday? -What?
I'm going to take all the beautiful little girls like you...
...and I'm going to put them together and make pictures with them.
-Will I be in a picture? -Well, I should say you will.
But in the meantime, I think that we ought to break our engagement.
-Why? -Well, because...
...there are going to be lots of boys...
...who want to take you out and buy you sodas.
If you're engaged to me, you can't go with them.
-Why can't I? -Because if you're married to me...
...I'm not going to have you running around with other boys. I couldn't stand for that.
-You couldn't? -Well, of course I couldn't.
-Well, what are you laughing at? -At you, you're jealous.
Well, you can just bet I'm jealous.
Well, now I've got to run along.
Florenz.
-Will you be home to dinner tonight? -Yes, Dad.
Well, I'll see you then.
And in the meantime, son, remember:
Anything you do, I wish you luck.
I knew you would.
Hold it, Mr. Ziegfeld.
Thank you. Thank you.
Greetings. Greetings to San Francisco...
...from my troupe, including the strongest man in the world, Sandow.
Humane Society?
Say, what's this I read in the papers about a lion and a bear?
Is your society going to tolerate such an atrocity?
Are you going to spill the blood of animals over the good name of San Francisco?
Well, I didn't think you'd permit such cruelty.
Why, it would be a crime to send a poor grizzly bear...
...into a cage with a man-eating lion. Crime.
-What's so funny? -Oh, you wouldn't understand...
...because you don't know Ziegfeld. Police are after him...
...and this paper's two weeks old, so he's probably in jail by now.
-But do you know him, Jack? -Oh, yeah, he's a pal of mine.
Hello.
-Well, Jack, this is a surprise. -Yes.
-Certainly glad to see you aboard. -Yes, well, I'm glad I--
Pardon me, I'll be back in a few minutes, darling.
I thought perhaps you were--
-Hey, who is she? -You'll never know.
What happened in Frisco? Did you really send Sandow in against a lion?
Sure, but the lion wouldn't fight.
Wouldn't or couldn't?
To tell you the truth, Jack, I didn't stay for the finish.
-I sort of thought that.... -Yes, I know.
Well, where is Sandow now?
He's in New York. He's going into the legitimate.
-He's with Lillian Russell in As You Like It.{y} -Yeah, well, I don't think I'd like it.
What are you going to Europe for, another strongman?
Oh, no, no. Just a little vacation.
-London? -Well, Monte Carlo first.
You're gonna lose all the money you made on Sandow, huh?
-No, I'm going to double it. -Oh, yes.
What are you going for, another Little Egypt?
Oh, no, just a rest. Of course, if I see any exceptional talent, I'll pick it up.
Well, naturally. So will I.
Oh, you got anybody in mind?
No, no. Why, have you?
No, no.
Only the greatest artist in Europe, that's all.
Say, who's that?
If I told you, you'd cross me before we crossed the ocean.
Beg pardon, sir.
Miss Carlisle wishes to know whether there will be three for tea or just two.
Just two. Yes, just two.
-Miss Carlisle, huh? -Yes, sir.
Oh, thank you.
You're....
-You're Mr. Billings' man, are you? -Yes, sir.
Well, you're very efficient.
-What is your name? -Sidney, sir.
Sidney. How much does Mr. Billings pay you, Sidney?
One hundred a month, sir.
Only-- Well, that's not very much, is it?
I hadn't thought of it, sir.
Well, think of it, Sidney.
London Evening News.{y} London Evening News.{y}
Oh, take care of the luggage, will you? And tip the doorman, Sidney.
Yes, sir.
You have a reservation for Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.?
-Yes, sir. Will you register, please? -Surely.
Is Mr. Billings still here?
-Yes, sir, on your floor. -Oh, yes.
Boy. Rooms 325 and 26.
Thank you.
Sidney. Well, you ingrate, you deserter--
Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.
Well, why didn't you tell me you were dissatisfied? I--
-You pirate. -Now wait a minute, Jack.
Gentlemen don't quarrel over gentlemen's gentlemen.
-Oh, you-- -Let me tell you the whole story.
If you're still angry, Sidney can go back with you.
-Oh, I-- -Look, Jack, it was this way.
I've always envied you. Your dress, your style, the way you look.
So that when I saw your valet, and I realized...
...that it was he who took such magnificent care of you...
...well, I just couldn't resist the temptation of hiring him for myself.
You mean, you wanted to look like me?
Well, that's right, Jack. I wanted to look just like you.
You faker.
What are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be in London for weeks.
Well, that's a long story.
You know, I was going to break the bank at Monte Carlo.
Yes, I know. But the bank broke you, huh?
-What did you lose? -Fifty-thousand dollars.
-What have you got left? -Fifty cents.
Fifty cents. Well, I'll see you later.
But, Jack, wait a minute.
Lend me 5000, will you?
Well, would you--?
Would you make it 2500?
If I gave you $2500, by the time you tipped six bellboys, you'd be broke again.
Look, Jack, I really need it.
I'll tell you what.
I'll give you $500 if you'll catch the next boat back to New York.
There's one leaving in the morning. Fair enough?
It's fair, but not enough. Will you sail with me?
Oh, no, Mr. Ziegfeld, I have business in London.
Oh, haven't you got the world's greatest artist yet?
No, not yet, but I will have.
Who is it, Jack?
Go on, you can tell me now. I'm broke.
I won't tell you till I have her name on the dotted line.
It's a her, is it?
Yes, and a beautiful her too, and she's signing the contract tonight.
-Goodbye, Mr. Ziegfeld. -Goodbye, Mr. Billings.
I say, doorman, did Mr. Billings come out?
Just this moment drove away.
I've got a very important message for him.
-Do you know where he went? -Palace music hall.
-Is it a good show? -Not so much, sir.
Except for the French actress. She's truly wonderful.
She has eyes this big, sir.
Every time she blinks them at you, you jolly well blink yourself, sir.
-Have you seen Anna Held, sir? -No, no, I haven't, but I will tonight.
Thank you, sir.
I say, sir, do you realize you gave me £5?
Yes, I'm trying to lose weight.
Isn't it magnificent?
For me, Marie?
From whom?
Whoever gathered all the orchids in the world just for me?
I do not know, but they must've cost thousands of francs.
Was no card with it? Oh, yes.
-Marie, this is very strange. -What, madame?
I learned the English words, I sing the English songs, yet I cannot read English.
What shall that mean? Please read it to me.
"My dear Miss Held, it is very important to your future...
...that you see me before signing any contracts.
I shall be waiting at the stage entrance immediately after your performance.
Florenz Ziegfeld Jr."
-Who's this Florenz Ziegfeld Jr.? -I do not know, madame.
-And why is it junior? Is he a little boy? -I do not know, madame.
I will not see this Mr. Ziegfeld Jr.
You will see Monsieur Billings, oui{y}?
Oh, Marie, these flowers are very nice.
I think I am polite and see this Monsieur Junior Ziegfeld.
But Billings is coming to talk to you about the great American tour.
Has madame forgotten his cables?
Oh, yes, that's all right, but these flowers are very beautiful.
Well, Jack, she's all right.
Yeah, I know she is without you telling me.
-I wish you wouldn't keep following me. -All right.
-Well, good night. -Good night.
I wish you wouldn't annoy me. Miss Held is expecting me.
-I'm going to sign the contract tonight. -That's great.
-You bet it is. -I said it was.
-Yes, well, good night. -Good night.
Will you stop shadowing me?
I'm not following you. I just happen to be going your way.
You've got a date with a chorus girl, I suppose.
You're going to spend that $500.
I can't spend it. I've spent it.
-Oh, you've spent-- Well, good night. -Good night.
I beg your pardon, sir, but--
I have an appointment with Miss Held.
-Is Mr. Ziegfeld out here? -Oh, no--
Yes, my dear. I'm Mr. Ziegfeld.
Mr. Ziegfeld, Miss Held would like you to come in, please.
Would you mind that for me?
Well, good night, Jack.
Oh, Mr. Ziegfeld, your orchids. They are the most beautiful orchids I have ever seen.
Won't you come in, Monsieur Ziegfeld?
Your flowers are so beautiful. I could not resist the temptation to thank you.
Miss Held. Do you mind my telling you...
...that you should never wear so many jewels on your hands?
-You think so? -Some women, yes.
But your hands, no.
Oh, that's a very nice compliment.
Did you hear that, Marie?
-Won't you sit down? -Thank you.
I did not know Americans could be so gallant.
Tell me, Monsieur Ziegfeld, are you in the theater?
Yes, I'm a producer.
Did you hear that, Marie? Monsieur Ziegfeld is an American producer.
Do you know Monsieur Billings?
Billings?
-Billings. -He's American producer too.
Oh, is that so?
-No, I've never heard of him. -No?
Of course, not in New York, that is.
America's a big country.
We still have producers in the West putting on shows for the Indians.
-Indians? Do you mean the savages? -Yes.
Did you hear that, Marie?
-I do not think I will like America. -Oh, you'll love New York.
-Would New York love me? -I think so.
You only think so? Did you not like my performance?
Yes and no.
-Yes and no. Does it mean yes or no? -Well, both.
-Did you not care for my singing, no? -Yes.
A trifle nasal, I thought, but yes.
And you did not like my costumes either?
I thought one dress was very effective, but the rest, no.
Monsieur Ziegfeld, I think you are very rude.
Please go.
Marie, open the door.
Monsieur Ziegfeld.
Yes?
Come back, please.
Sit down.
You know, you are very honest.
I like you very much.
Your note says it is important to my future to see you. Why is that?
-If you want to play in New York, it is. -I have many offers for New York now.
I've no doubt, but so have many others.
There's foreign talent going into New York every day.
-What happens to them? -What?
Well, they open at Tony Pastor's theater, and they get the hook.
The hook, what is that?
Hook, a little thing you catch fish with. You know, a hook.
Now, if I take you over, I'll present you on Broadway.
In a great show, in the best theater, to the best people.
I'll exploit you from coast to coast.
Exploit? What is that?
I'll put you over, I'll sell you.
-Sell me? -To the public.
And I'll make them pay for you.
And how much will you pay me?
I'll advertise your name from every corner.
Women will be wearing Anna Held hats, shoes, corsets.
Even the children will know you.
But how much will you pay me?
More publicity than you've ever dreamed of.
Yes, that's all right. But how much money will you give me?
I'll give you the greatest opening night that New York has ever had.
You'll see the Goulds, the Astors, the Vanderbilts.
"Diamond Jim" Brady, Lillian Russell.
-Lillian Russell? -Yes.
-Oh, I would so much like to see her. -Well.
No. First you must speak about the money because I have so many offers now.
I'll meet your biggest offer.
Really?
Well, that is very nice of you.
But maybe when you hear how much it is, you don't think I'm worth so much.
How much is it?
They are all very good, but the highest one is that of Mr. Billings.
He says he will give me 50,000 francs besides my salary, which is very big...
...just to sign the contract. That is how much in American money?
-$ 1 0,000, madame. -$ 1 0,000, monsieur.
-Ten thousand dollars. -Oui,{y} that's a very big amount.
And even if you would give me the $ 1 0,000 and I sign with you...
...you still would have to wait till I finished my London engagement.
I couldn't do that.
You couldn't even wait for me?
I couldn't even give you the $ 1 0,000.
-You think it's too much, huh? -I think it isn't enough.
But I haven't it.
What, you expect I should sign a contract for America with you...
-...and you don't even have $ 1 0,000? -I haven't even 1 000.
I did have before I stopped at Monte Carlo, but right now, I haven't even 1 00.
-But I'll spread your name all over-- -It is enough!
You're just trying to make the fool of me.
You are the impostor. You are no gentleman.
Please go.
Marie, open the door.
Monsieur Ziegfeld.
Come back, please.
Sit down.
You know, you're very honest.
I like you very much.
Mr. Vanderbilt's carriage. Mr. Van Rensselaer's carriage.
-She has big eyes. -But I couldn't understand a word she said.
-I'll take Lillian Russell. -Mr. Astor's carriage.
-Did you like her? -Cute. Did you notice the empty seats?
Miss Russell's carriage.
-I think she's charming. -Why, there's Lillian Russell.
Mr. Thaw's carriage.
Never mind, I don't want a carriage.
The show's all right if they had an American star.
Mrs. Harriman's carriage. Mr. Stuyvesant's carriage.
You made a bad bet, Jim.
-May I have your carriage called, Mr. Brady? -Yes.
Oh, Ziggy.
Stanford and I just made a little wager.
He bet me 5000 that I wouldn't get back the 1 0,000 you borrowed...
-...to bring Anna over here. -Mr. Brady's carriage.
I'll split your end 50-50 with you, Mr. White.
I told you so. I told you so.
Well, what's a few thousand dollars anyway?
Mr. Chandler's carriage. Mr. Saks' carriage.
Balcony 22.
Well, Sampston, what's the loss this week?
The show earned a profit of $ 1 340.32.
You drew $2550...
...which gives us a loss of $ 1 209.68.
That's terrible. We can't keep the show running with losses.
-Say, where's Sage? -Upstairs.
What a press agent, never around.
Take a wire to him.
-But he's just upstairs in his office. -I know it. Take a wire anyway.
How can you do business without publicity? Stop.
Anna Held was the sensation of Europe. Stop.
Appeared before kings and queens. Stop.
Yet you get nothing in the papers. Stop.
You're ruining me. Stop.
If you're a press agent, I'm President Cleveland.
Stop. Beg your pardon.
Pardon,{y} madame. It is not jolie.{y} It is jolly.
Jolie,{y} that's what I said, jolie.{y}
Pardon,{y} it's my mistake. I mean jolly.
Jolly. Good.
Please, let's start again. Jolly.
No, no, no. I won't sing today.
I can't sing today.
I'm much too much inside here.
Much too much.
Marie?
Marie.
It's so silly for Anna Held to take singing lessons.
But Ziegfeld did not ask me to teach you.
I simply want to help madame to lose her French accent.
But your accent is much more than my accent, and I don't want to lose my accent.
Marie, did you try to get Monsieur Ziegfeld again?
-He is not home, madame. -Please try it again.
-And the reporters? -They are still in the lobby.
Tell them to go away. Tell the hotel to push them out.
Tell them we are going back to France.
That's what we will do. We are going back to Paris.
-Shut up, Pierre. -I'm too happy, madame.
-Happy about what? -We are sailing for Paris.
-No. -No?
No, I changed my mind.
Marie, go unpack my things.
-You see, it's true. -It is not.
-It is. -No.
What is true and what is not true?
Pierre says madame is in love with Monsieur Ziegfeld.
Did you say that, Pierre?
-Why did you say that, Pierre? -Because I'm afraid it's true.
Why are you afraid? Don't you like Monsieur Ziegfeld?
Oui,{y} madame, that's the trouble.
Everybody likes him, especially the ladies.
Oh, madame, you'd never be happy with him.
You'd never be able to hold him.
Why, he attracts women like the flowers attract bees.
Like the flypaper attract the flies.
Well, that's all right. I've seen the flies on the flypaper...
...and it seems to me they stick very well.
-But, madame-- -Pierre, please.
How can I love someone who puts terrible things in the newspaper...
...has millions of reporters annoying me?
Pardon, madame, but the newspapers have been very nice to you.
Why don't you want to see the reporters?
Because I know exactly what they want to ask me.
-You do not understand, no? -Frankly, no, madame.
Oh, then I will tell you what happened.
Two months ago, Monsieur Ziegfeld says:
"Anna, from now on, I'm going to send you, every day, a big present."
I say, "Thank you so much, Flo--"
I mean, "Mr. Ziegfeld.
But already you send me orchids every morning."
Those are from him.
But he says, "No, Anna, this is something much more important."
So naturally, I cannot wait to see what he sends me.
And the next day, what do you think I get?
-A diamond ring? -No.
-A bracelet? -No. Four big cans of milk.
-Milk. -Twenty gallons.
-Twenty gallons of milk? -Twenty gallons of milk.
-Shut up! -Twenty gallons of milk.
-Oh, please. -No.
I'm so sorry. Excuse me.
Well, that night I say to Flo-- I mean, Mr. Ziegfeld:
"Flo, why do you send me so much milk?"
And he just laughs and says, "Anna, that's a great idea.
You get it from now on every day." "Every day, 20 gallons of milk?"
I say, "Flo, who can drink so much milk?" And do you know what he says?
"Don't drink it, bathe in it. And you will be a big success."
-No! -Well, I'm too angry to speak.
In Paris, I was a big success because they liked my voice.
In London, because they liked my singing.
But in America, to be a big success, I need 20 gallons of milk and must sit in it!
-Well, do you bathe in it, madame? -No, of course not.
But every day, we get the milk and take it in...
...because Monsieur Ziegfeld says we must carry out his idea.
And what happened? Did you read this morning, the paper?
-No, madame. -Please.
-"Ziegfeld is sued for Anna Held's milk bill." -On the front page.
-Twenty gallons of milk. -Oh, I'm so ashamed.
Marie, please call him again.
If he's not there, leave the message.
Tell him I do not want one can more of milk from him.
And I don't want the orchids either.
-Hello? -Oh, those reporters again.
Tell them no. I do not want to speak to them.
Madame, it is Monsieur Ziegfeld.
I don't want to speak to him either. I never wish to speak to him again.
Where is he?
Downstairs in the lobby, madame.
Tell him to come up.
But if he brings one of those reporters, don't let him in.
No, Pierre. Let them on the floor. I want him to see them there.
I make him pick them up. He embarrasses me, I embarrass him.
Madame, if you will take my advice, you will not appear so excited.
Yes, you are right, Pierre.
Pierre, play. Play. I sing for you, yes. Just like he's not here.
We'll let him wait till I'm finished. Come on, play, play, play.
-Your missus is in lovely voice today, Marie. -Oui,{y} monsieur. You will see.
Marie, someone has apparently spilled the orchids.
Now, will you phone Sidney for me? Have him send up another dozen immediately.
Well? Why do you not pick these up?
Because fallen flowers, my dear, are like fallen stars.
They soon lose their luster.
Marie, pick them up.
No, I cannot sing today. I'm much too angry to sing.
I'm sick of watching you roll your eyes like I do.
Please go home. I give you your notes.
Please take them. Go home, yes?
Go.
So I'm a fallen star, yes? I have no luster, no?
Oh, yes, you have, my dear.
-But do you know what it comes from? -I don't care.
What?
Milk baths. Or at least that's what you must tell the reporters.
I'm so hurt. The front page of the paper says you are sued on my account.
If you send milk, why don't you pay for it?
If I did, it wouldn't be in the papers.
Can't you tell them I just used the milk without buying it and being sued for it?
They wouldn't believe it. Now it's a matter of record.
Besides, they don't care whether I ever pay the bill.
All that interests them is that in two months, you've used 1 200 gallons of milk.
This is terrible.{y}
-Ask the reporters to come up. -Do nothing of the kind.
Anna, you must not insult the press.
If they come up, I tell the truth.
No, at first, tell them nothing.
Desk, please.
Pretend embarrassment.
Pretend it? I was never so ashamed.
Are the gentlemen of the press still waiting for Miss Held?
What are you doing?
Oh, yes, if you will, please.
I will say I never in my life took a milk bath.
I will tell them it is all a press story.
I will go back to France.
Marie, pack the things. Quick.
This time I mean it!
You cannot make a circus of me.
I'm not a strongman like Sandow.
I'm a real artist, and I never, never, never will say that.
Yes? Oh, ask them to come right up, please.
No!
Anna, don't you realize that if we put this story over...
...your name will be in headlines from coast to coast?
Every woman in the country will be talking about you.
I don't care.
I do not have to be a cow to be a success.
And before I make such a fool of myself, I tear up my contract with you. So...
...where is it?
And besides-- Besides--
And besides, you do nothing as I like to have it.
It must always be your way.
I ask you 1 000 times to have costumes like Lillian Russell.
She has not to take milk baths to be a success. She is beautiful.
But, no, I cannot have gowns like her. There now.
Tell the reporters about that!
-Anna. -I mean it. I'm determined.
Anna.
You let the reporters come up, yes? All right, I tell them everything.
Anna?
Well, I should tell them, no?
No.
Now, you do what I ask you to, darling...
...and I'll do whatever you wish.
You mean, you'll let me have gowns like Lillian Russell?
Oh, no, darling. You're not her type.
-But I'll tell you what I will do. -What?
I'll put eight Lillian Russells on the stage behind you.
Isn't Anna beautiful?
I wonder if the milk baths really make her skin so nice.
Oh, they most certainly do. I've been taking them for a long time.
Oh, Marie, were they not wonderful tonight?
And the girls! Don't they look gorgeous?
Marie.
Look. From my Flo.
Oh, my Flo.
Oh, Marie! Marie! You read what he says.
Oui,{y} madame.
Read it to me, quick!
What does it say?
"My darling.
I never knew that one long year could seem like one short moment.
You are magnificent, my wife. Flo."
Oh, Marie.
-Marie, did you hear that? -I just read it, madame.
No, no. Did you hear what he says?
"You are magnificent, my wife."
Oh, madame, look! Look!
Marie!
Come on, help me.
Oh, isn't it gorgeous?
Oh, madame, look, look! Here's another one!
Oh, Marie!
Oh, that makes me so much inside. Here.
Much too much.
First, he gives me all the flowers in the world...
...and now he takes the stars from the heavens, just for me.
"You're magnificent, my wife."
-Am I magnificent, Marie? -Oui,{y} madame.
No, no, no. He's magnificent, not I.
Marie!
Marie, I must show them to the girls!
I come back immediately!
And when Mr. Ziegfeld comes, please tell him he shall wait!
Girls, would you like to see something wonderful?
Oh, what is it?
-Look! And this! -Diamonds!
-From my husband! -May I try the bracelet?
-Yes, sure. -That's gorgeous.
Audrey, are you not interested in my presents?
I would be if they were mine.
But, Audrey, you will have many of them someday.
Maybe you have to work a little, to suffer a little.
-But what is that? -I'll work, but I won't suffer.
-Here you are, dear. -Thank you.
Isn't it beautiful, Audrey?
I'll say it is. I'd give my soul for one like it.
That would be a very bad bargain, Audrey.
All right, that's fine! Tie it off!
You're better with your feet than your broom.
Mr. Ziegfeld, you think so?
I wish you'd give me a chance. I've got talent.
I'd like to get away from shifting scenery and moving props.
-How long have you been a property boy? -Five years. But my heart hasn't been in it.
You've been working a long time without your heart.
-That tickle you? -It does.
And this weekly return tickles me more. Look, a profit of $5000.
If you'll just be conservative, I mean, live reasonably.
Don't incur any fresh obligations, forget you have charge accounts...
-...and you'll soon-- -You're right.
-I will. -Darling!
Oh, Anna.
Anna.
You're the sweetest husband in the whole world.
Mr. Sampston!
Look.
From my husband. On our anniversary.
This and this. Are they not gorgeous diamonds?
Yes, indeed, Miss Held, gorgeous.
Good night, Mr. Ziegfeld.
Good night, Sampston.
He didn't seem very happy about my presents, oui{y}?
Anna, men who keep books are never very happy.
Marie, you go out for a while. He is my maid tonight. Go, go, go, go.
-Oh, I am, am I? -Yes, you are.
Later, I count the diamonds in the bracelet and necklace and kiss you for each one.
What about the orchids? Don't I get anything for them?
For each petal of each orchid, another kiss extra. So....
Take off my stocking, please.
You know, this might get to be a habit.
Flo, you're wonderful. Do you know that?
I suspect it.
Everything you promise me, you do.
Everything you say will happen, happens.
And now I am a big success in America, thanks to you.
Flo!
Why do you do that when I am trying to say nice things to you?
Besides, you're a very bad mate.
But I love you.
-Flo? -What?
Flo, are you as happy as I am?
Happier. Why do you ask?
Because sometimes I think I am too happy.
Sometimes I get afraid it won't be always like this...
...working only for you while you do the show just for me.
Couldn't I do another show without spoiling our happiness?
Of course you could. Don't be silly.
Do you want to do another show?
Well, darling, now that you've made such a tremendous success...
...I have a little idea that I'd like to carry out.
Idea for a show?
-The biggest kind of a show. -With music and girls?
-Beautiful girls and-- -And without me, oui{y}?
Well, darling, you couldn't do two shows at once, could you?
Now, Anna, see here.
Suppose we go down to Rector's and celebrate our anniversary?
-No, I don't-- -Just us and a bottle of wine.
-I don't feel like it. -Come on, now, dear.
-No, I'm so nervous. -It'll be good for you.
I'm so tired.
I'm so disappointed in you I could scream!
-Now, Anna-- -I mean it.
I thought you loved me more than anything in the world.
I thought I am your one ideal, your only ambition.
-Anna-- -No.
I think only of you, and I thought you will only think of me.
But it is not so. You have big plans without me.
You will do a big show. You will go broke again!
Anna, you're jealous.
-No, Flo! -Yes.
Don't say that, no, no, no!
I hate jealous people, and I don't know what's....
I'm angry, and I wish you would go. Please, please.
Please go. Go! Go!
Marie!
Marie.
Flo.
-Good morning, Mr. Billings. -Good morning, Miss Drake. Messages?
Nothing important, except Mr. Erlanger wants to see you today.
Mr. Ziegfeld is in your office.
Well, why in my office instead of out here?
I thought he'd be more comfortable in there.
Well, I-- Oh yes, I see.
To what do I owe the honor of this visit, Mr. Ziegfeld?
Mr. Billings, if you've ever had it in for me, you've certainly avenged yourself.
This is positively the worst cigar I've ever smoked in my life. How are you, Jack?
-All right. How are you? -Never better. Sit, won't you?
Thank you. Nice of you.
I'm here to do you a great favor.
I'm sorry, I can't take advantage of it. I'm broke.
That's why I'm hooked up with Erlanger.
Oh, well, that's fine for me. He's just the man I need.
Jack, I want to do a new show, a big show.
I'm willing to split it 50-50 with Erlanger, and all he has to do is put up the money...
-...and furnish the theaters. -Oh, that's all?
That's all.
Of course, you'd furnish the star.
Oh, this isn't for Anna. Anna's show is all set.
No, in this one...
-...I want to star the girls. -Don't be ridiculous.
Without personalities, you haven't got a chance.
I'll have personalities, all right, Iots of them.
But they'll mostly be blonds and brunettes.
What are you going to call this opera?
I'm going to call it the Ziegfeld Follies.{y}
Follies. Follies, all right.
What's the matter? That's a good title.
What's so unusual about a girl show? We've got plenty now.
I don't mean that kind. They're way out-of-date.
You're using the same scenery you used 20 years ago, wood wings and flats.
I want to do a show with silk drapes, with lace, with beautiful girls.
I won't dress them for the men in the front...
...but for the women in the back.
I want to surround them with glamour, glitter. Glorify them.
Say....
There's a good word, Jack. "Glorify."
Sounds all right if you know what it means.
It'll look all right too.
"Glorifying the American Girl."
Where you gonna find these beautiful girls?
I'll take them from homes, from stores, from shops--
From offices.
I beg your pardon. Mr. Erlanger would like to see you now.
Oh, all right.
-Yes, well, that'll do, Miss Drake. -Yes, sir.
Now, listen, Ziggy, not her. She's the best stenographer I ever had.
-All right, Jack. -Here, here.
-You will buzz the little giant? -I'll tell him...
-...but I doubt he'll be interested. -He's missing a great opportunity.
Yes, I know.
But, well, I'll drop you a line about it. Perhaps tomorrow.
Wire me, will you?
Well, if you'd rather hear the sad news sooner, I'll wire.
Yes.
What's that? They won't give us our share of the profits?
All right! Open him in Boston...
...jump him to New Orleans, and then on to Frisco.
Funny thing, Billings. You just can't be nice to some people.
Yes, that's what I was thinking. Ziegfeld was just here.
What did he want?
Remember when he stole Anna Held right from under my nose?
Then, so I couldn't get her back, he married her and made enough to retire.
Now he comes back, broke again...
...asking me to ask you for the money to put on a new show!
Well, that's nerve. What do you want me to do?
Give him the money.
-Cantor and Will Rogers! -$50 a pair!
-Best show in town! -Tickets, boys? And gentlemen?
Standing room only.
Come on, girls, come on, come on! Get up those steps! Come on!
You realize this is opening night?
You take that brace and put it down here! What is it?
I've only got two minutes. You ready to go in with those steps?
I've built so many steps for Ziegfeld, they go in by themselves.
-What follows this number? -The--
I know, Greg Williams. Have the finale costumes arrived?
Mr. Sampston's talking to the costumer now.
Oh, I see. Trouble again.
You can't do this! It's an unheard-of procedure!
I'm very sorry, Mr. Sampston, I want my money.
It's preposterous! Ridiculous!
-No money, no finale costumes. -It's a holdup! Oh, hello.
You can't do this to Mr. Ziegfeld. Wait here a minute.
-Allen! -Yes, sir.
-Where's Ziegfeld? -Haven't seen him in 1 0 minutes.
-See if he's in the front. -Yes, sir.
No, no, I'll go. No, no, you go.
-No, no, send somebody else. -Yes, sir. Joe!
Tell him I must see him immediately. The show depends on it.
This is going to be the death of me. This is awful.
Wait here for me. You will wait?
You bet I will.
Yes?
-Hello, Sam. How are y'all? -Mr. Rogers?
You look kind of worried. What's on your mind, Sam?
I was looking for Mr. Ziegfeld.
Just a minute, Sam.
Mr. Ziegfeld, it's very important. The costumer's--
Will, the audiences love to hear you talk.
Well, shucks, Flo. I can't talk any more than I do.
Gotta get the rope tricks in, don't I?
I think they like to hear your wisecracks better.
Perhaps they do, but what will I talk about? I ain't got anything to say that's funny.
-Mr. Ziegfeld-- -Now wait a minute, Sam.
Your wife tells me you keep her laughing all the time...
...just about things you read in the papers.
I catch on. Betty's been putting you up to this, huh?
Well, I got a sort of a habit of telling her all I know is what I read in the papers...
...and she says that's what I ought to tell the audience.
Just sort of be kind of a running gag item.
-She's right. -Oh, sure, Betty's always right.
But she don't have to stand on the stage and catch those overripe tomatoes...
-...if the gag don't work. -Mr. Ziegfeld, I must interrupt you.
-The finale costumes are here. -Oh, good.
-Will you do it? -I might.
-They won't leave without the money. -Give them a check.
-Will you do it tonight? -They want the cash.
They sent the costumes for this show COD?
No, sir, not this show. They want some money on the last show.
Reckon you got your shows mixed up?
Well, I reckon. A little.
If I can help you out on anything, why, let me know.
Thanks, Bill. I'm all right.
Well, tell me if I can.
Of course, I don't suppose it makes a lot of difference, because...
...even with the costumes on, girls in this show...
...ain't exactly overdressed.
You save your wisecracks for the audience, Bill.
-Hey, buddy! Hey! -Yes?
Your opening night, your big chance, and you're still moving scenery?
I can't help it, Mr. Ziegfeld. It gets in the blood.
Besides, I don't know how I'm gonna go over tonight.
I don't wanna lose a job till I'm sure of the other.
When I hired you as an actor, I fired you as a stagehand.
Better make good. You'll find yourself without any job.
-Well, what seems to be the trouble? -No trouble, I hope, except--
Except he's holding us up!
-He refuses to leave the costumes unless-- -Unless he gets some money, and he's right.
Let me see them first.
At once, Mr. Ziegfeld. Open up the basket.
I tell you, Mr. Ziegfeld, these dresses are wonderful.
The finest work I have ever done. Look, Mr. Ziegfeld, isn't it stunning?
Perhaps you made a mistake. This isn't for me.
Oh, yes, Mr. Ziegfeld, for the finale.
Not my finale.
Mr. Schutz, this is the New Amsterdam Theatre.
This is the Follies.{y}
I know, Mr. Ziegfeld, and this is the costume for the finale.
Well, not for my show.
Why, I couldn't let my girls appear in a thing like that. That's horrible!
Oh, take it away.
But, Mr. Ziegfeld, they were made from the sketches of your own designer.
You yourself made the changes on the sketches when you gave me the order.
I never ordered that. That's terrible! Take it away, take it out of my theater!
But, Mr. Ziegfeld, I worked over three weeks on these dresses.
I have plenty of money invested in them.
I'm sorry, but I can't help that. What do you want to do? Disgrace me?
No, no, Mr. Ziegfeld. But please do not disgrace me.
I mean, Mr. Ziegfeld, please let your girls wear my costumes tonight.
No, I wouldn't humiliate them.
If you aren't satisfied, I'll make it up to you, but please don't make me take them back.
All right, but just this once. Send them up to the dressing rooms.
See me in my office next week.
-Next month. -Next month.
Thank you very much, Mr. Ziegfeld.
-They are beautiful, aren't they? -Awfully expensive.
All right, girls, places for the melody number!
He's singing very well tonight, Mr. Ziegfeld.
He's all right, but there's too much white.
Merv, he's too white. Bring up the pink in your footlights.
Are the steps high enough for you this time, Mr. Ziegfeld?
No, I don't think so. We could use more, a lot more.
-I'd like to see them higher. -How's that, Mr. Ziegfeld?
That's perfect now. Keep it that way the rest of the number.
Ain't that something? Don't you like your flowers, honey lamb?
-They're beautiful. Was there a card? -Oh, sure. Here it is.
And there was a package too. I done unwrapped it for you.
-You've done looked at it too, I suppose. -Oh, no, honey lamb, I never.
-Pour me a drink, Flossie. -Another? Ain't you all forgetting...
...you got a midnight show to do on the roof tonight?
And ain't you all forgetting to pour that drink?
Well, scratch my back, honey. Is them diamonds, or is them stars?
-Who sent them to you, honey lamb? -Who do you think?
I know. They's from Mr. Zieg--
-Here he is. -Tell him to come in.
Yes'm.
Audrey.
-You were beautiful tonight. -Thank you.
Flossie, pour us a drink.
No, no, no, please, dear, no. I just came to tell you--
Somebody else thought you were beautiful too, oui{y}?
From an old friend.
Not too old, I hope.
What a beautiful bracelet, Audrey.
Is this from your old friend too?
-Do you like it? -Yes, it's charming!
You know, your friend must have very good taste...
...because this is just the sort of jewelry Flo would like.
I told you someday you will have lots of diamonds, didn't I?
Yes, you did.
And I told you I wouldn't suffer, remember?
Yes...
...I do.
Well, congratulations again, Audrey.
I'll see you later. On the roof, oui{y}?